FMAGiOh!
by enVii
Summary: No idea. Our FMA friends get thrown into another world where they must duel to survive...from boredom. Crosses over with YuGiOh. It's late and I'm sleepy so there.
1. The Duel of Duels

**The Duel of Duels**

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Especially nothing featured in this fic.

Three days ago, Seto and Mike went for a walk.

"Stop following me Mike," said Seto.

"Alright," said Mike.

Seto's head was hurting because Mokuba was sitting on it. The only solution was to eat lots of cookies. There was a problem though, Namu had taken all the cookies hostage, and refused to trade them for anything but the Egyptian God Cards, or an omlette.

Meanwhile, Yugi was walking around in a forest. "Where are we Yami?" he asked.

Yami didn't answer.

"Are you still mad because I didn't sign us up for the talent show?" Yugi asked.

Yami didn't answer.

In truth, Yami wasn't really upset about not being able to sing 'Walk like an Egyptian' at the talent show, because he didn't exist. Yugi just had issues.

"Yugi! Yugi!" yelled Anzu.

"What is it Suzie?" Yugi asked.

"I'm Anzu, remember?" she said.

"And I'm Mai!" said Mai, who used to be Yugi.

Don't worry – my English teacher doesn't get it either.

Then, a brilliant flash of light flashed and lit up the sky brilliantly. A whole bunch of funny looking people were suddenly lying around the forest, unconscious or just dead.

"Wow!" said Mike and Seto, who had stumbled upon the forest in their wanderings.

One of the funny people got up. Or did he? He was so short that it's hard to tell if he was a normal person sitting down or a super short person standing up. It was Edward Elric, so the latter was the truth.

"Do you speak English?" asked Mokuba.

"No," said Edward.

"Good – neither do we."

"Then why are you speaking it now?" asked Edward.

"I'm not," said Mokuba.

"What did you say?" asked Envy, who had just gotten up from his former position of lying down.

"I don't know," replied Mokuba. "I don't speak English."

Once that was sorted out, they all decided to go compete in a Duel Monsters tournament. Namu even started saying his name was Marik, so he could confuse everyone because everyone already thought he was only pretending to be Namu and that he was really Marik in which case claiming to be Marik might make them think that he really was Namu after all.

"It's time to d-d-d-dddddduel!" said Envy.

-And here comes a new challenger!- said the happy voice with the microphone.

Everyone gasped. It was Hohenheim.

"FATHER?" yelled Edward, Envy and Yugi.

Then Edward and Envy turned to Yugi. "He's your father too?"

"It's all starting to make sense!" said Anzu. "I was wondering who Yugi's real father was, and his brothers are really short too so his growth really wasn't just stunted by smoking!"

"Um, yes – that's it…" said Yugi, trying to hide his cigarettes in his Millenium Puzzle.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SHORT BEAN WHO'S…….REALLY SHORT?" yelled Edward.

"And I'm only fashionably short!" Envy insisted. "But lets get back to this duel!"

No one had bothered to listen to hoho papa who had been insisting that he wasn't really Yugi's father, but that's okay because maybe he was lying anyway.

"I play Kuriboh in attack mode!" screamed Hohenheim.

"Well I play Meteor Black Dragon in attack mode – and because it has like 3500 attack points and your monster only has, like, less than that, I win!" said Envy. His Meteor Black Dragon ran up to the Kuriboh but the Kuriboh ate it. "WTF was that?"

"Didn't you look closely? I gave my Kuriboh extra points with my magic card – but it still wasn't enough so I used alchemy." Hohenheim explained.

Hohenheim was thrown into a fit of laughter but then he had a minor heart attack because he was so old. It looked like he was going to be OK, but then Wrath tackled him. "Your name is too long for the author to keep writing! So DIE!" said Wrath.

"SETO! Stop putting the Fruit Loops on the top shelf – you know I can't reach that high!" whined Noa.

"NEVER!" yelled Seto, tackling Noa.

But then Edward tackled Seto. "That guy's voice is worse than Envy's but it's not his fault he's short! Short people have feelings too… or so I've heard… obviously I'm not short so I wouldn't know but-" Then Roy tackled Edward.

"Hey! Envy's voice isn't so bad! And don't hurt Seto! Without him we'll never find Namu's hidden stash of cookies!"

"I wouldn't be so sure…" said Dante.

"Gasp – DANTE?" said everyone – even though it was obviously her because her name had to be written after she said something. But anyway, what sneaky schemes does Dante have in store for our heroes, review to find out – or tune in to channel 633, we'll be here all week!


	2. Dante and the Fantabulous Rod

**Dante and the Fantabulous Rod**

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Especially nothing featured in this fic.

In her travels, Dante had come across the Millennium Rod. She was crossing the street having looked both ways first, when she tripped over it, and landing flat on her face she was then run over by a bus full of small children and Greed who was driving the bus.

She was sad, having been run over and all, but the shiny rod made her forget all about the grievous pain.

* * *

"Everyone look at my Millenium Rod!" said Dante.

No one looked. They had just discovered a thumbtack on the ground and were having a guessing competition as to whether it had been made before or after the 1910s. No one knew the answer, so the game was pointless, but they hadn't figured that out yet.

Dante was about to hit them with the rod violently when she too decided to join in the game. It was then that Yami Marik appeared and stole the Millenium Rod. "Yoink!" he said.

"Hey look everyone! It's Namu!" said Yugi.

They all jumped on top of him to demand he release of the cookies.

"I'm not Namu dammit!"

"Shut up Edward, we know you're not – we're talking to this guy!" said Envy.

"Oh right," said Edward.

"Well I'm not Namu either!" yelled Yami Marik.

Everyone was confused. "Is anyone in this place actually Namu?" asked Lust.

"I AM!" came a familiar voice from behind them.

Envy punched Edward. "You're Edward you retard!"

"Oh right," said Edward. "I forget things easily."

"Yes – we can see that," said Seto.

"What? See what? WHERE AM I?" said Edward frantically.

Hohenheim took Edward to go and sit in the corner.

"Ah yes, now that that's all over with…I SHALL STEAL YOUR SOULS WITH MY MILLENIUM ROD!" said Yami Marik.

The homunculi laughed. "Yeah – good luck with that," said Greed.

After a 51 episode-long chat, the Yu-Gi-Oh! bunch had finally sort of grasped the FMA storyline. Upon finally understanding what the homunculi had meant, everyone laughed and ate fairy-bread. They all decided that if they ever wanted to see a 1954 calendar again, they would have to look in opp shops or something, and that if they ever wanted to see Namu's hidden stash of cookies again, they would have to work as a team. Edward would be more of a stand-by team member though, as the outside world was still quite frightening to him.

They were very tired, and decided to crash at Yugi's game shop. That was a lot of people, so Grandpa was not a happy camper. He'd never even been camping before. Talk about needing to get out more.

While just about everyone was crammed into Yugi's bedroom, Hohenheim and Grandpa were in the kitchen getting wasted. Grandpa was talking about the old days and then Hohenheim started talking about totally older days and they ended up in a bitch-fight.

In Yugi's room, they were in the middle of playing truth or dare.

"Truth or dare?" Edward asked Mokuba.

"Edward," said Anzu, "after you ask someone 'truth or dare' you either ask them a question or give them a dare depending on how they answered…you don't just ask someone else 'truth or dare!'"

"You don't?" asked Edward. "What's the fun in that?"

Jou sweat dropped. "Maybe you should have a go later, Ed. Now Dante – truth or dare?"

"Hmmmm, truth!"

"Ok," said Jou, "were you ever a man?"

"NO DAMMIT!" Dante screeched.

"Envy – truth or dare?" asked Noa.

"…truth," said Envy. Was everyone missing something? You could just lie and no one would even know - where was the choice in that question?

"Are you a girl?"

"NO DAMMIT!" Envy screeched.

Mokuba looked from Dante to Envy. "They're related, aren't they?"

"Yep," said Wrath. "Mother and daughter."

"I JUST SAID I'M NOT A GIRL DAMMIT!" Envy roared and started throwing a tantrum.

"But you said that you were going to lie!" said Mai.

"I did not say that – I thought it! I mean, I didn't think it either!" Everyone looked at him accusingly. "Alright, alright, I did think it – but I didn't need to lie for that question!" Envy explained.

Everyone still looked at him accusingly. "I MEAN IT!" cried Envy.

Then finally they could hear the sound of the ice-cream truck. "We know Envy, we just had to get you really worked up because Namu's ice-cream truck can smell embarrassment." Said Winry.

"You used me?"

"Yes."

"…I would stay mad for longer, but ICE-CREAM!" said Envy.

"NO WAIT ENVY – IT'S A TRAP!" everyone else yelled. But Envy, being a very fast runner, and an extremely fast runner when there was ice-cream involved, was long gone.

"Damn," said Sloth. "Now we'll never be able to take Namu prisoner and demand the release of the cookies!"

"I wouldn't be so sure…" said Dante.

"Dude, you've got to stop doing that," said Roy.

"Ok, I will, but seriously – if I know Envy, and I'm 50 percent sure I do, then it may be a blessing in disguise…"

Goodnight Springton – there will be no encore. No really, thank you so much reviewers! Exams crushing the life out of me at present but if I see happy reviews I will be forced to update sooner no matter what! (I mean these tests will only be determining the rest of my life right? Nothing to worry about!) So yeah, PLEASE REVIEW!


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